


present tense, not past

by Bellakitse



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 14:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse
Summary: Alex and Michael at the re-opening gala, back in the room where it all started for them.*******“I didn’t leave because of everything you told me,” he pushes on. “I meant it when I said I want to know you, all of you. I left because when you showed me the console,” he pauses, looking down at his feet. His eyes stinging as he feels the same profound loss he felt in Michael’s bunker, realizing that there was a real chance that one day soon he was going to have to watch Michael leave him behind, the same way Alex has done so many times.





	present tense, not past

**Author's Note:**

> So basically what I wish would happen in the next episode if Alex went to the gala.  
> *
> 
> This couple has taken over my brain and heart, someone send help.

 

Alex arrives at the UFO emporium a little after 9 pm, an hour past the 8 o’clock invitation to the grand re-opening gala for the tacky tourist trap. He shows his invitation to a man dressed in black and sunglasses obviously playing the part of a government spook. Shaking his head he walks into his teenage workplace, he knows that Isobel Evans has been planning this event for months and it seems that even her six-week stint in an alien pod didn’t stop her from getting things done. Inside he quickly spots her in the distance with her husband at her side as they make the rounds, stopping here and there to talk to locals and out of town alien groupies alike. He smirks to himself slightly at the almost amusing irony of an actual alien planning the opening of an alien museum.

And what an opening it is, the place is far fancier than it has ever been, not hard when all it’s ever been is a cheesy place full of make-believe. Though now that he knows extraterrestrials are actually a thing, he feels he needs to reassess his previous belief. This -underneath the glitz and glamour, Isobel has added to the place for this little party- is still a place he remembers with fondness. He’d always found the emporium amusing in the past, and the place had offered an escape more than once from his home life and his father.

Not to mention that he couldn’t think or step foot into the museum without thinking about Michael Guerin and a first kiss that 10 years later still shakes him to his core.

He takes a drink from a server passing by ready to bring it to his lips when across the room he makes eye contact with Maria. He looks back at her for a moment, feeling a pang in his chest as she sends him a tentative smile. The uncertainty on her face so foreign to him and he vows to himself that as soon as he can unfuck himself from the last few days of life-altering revelations, he’s going to fix things between them no matter how awkward that conversation turns out to be. For now, he sends her back a smile he hopes bears his love for her and tips his drink in her direction before taking a sip. The smile she flashes his way coupled with a playful roll of her eyes relaxes the tightness in his chest.

Smiling again, this time to himself he wanders from the main room where the party is being held to the smaller exhibit just off the left side, the room that holds what is possibly the best memory of his teenage years.

He lets out a breath as he takes in the room, unlike the rest of the emporium that has been completely revamped, very little has been changed here. In fact, other than maybe a good cleaning, he’d wager to say nothing about the room has changed. The far right wall is still covered with dark velvet fabric and shining lights. Overhead are still the two flying saucers, meteor rocks to the left. For Alex, it’s like stepping into the past.

Lost in his memories, he doesn’t hear the curtain move or the soft steps behind him.

“Nostalgia’s a bitch.”

Alex startles momentarily cursing his lack of situational awareness, he’s been trained better than this, for fuck sake.

He turns at the voice and takes Michael in.

In black from the top of his hat to his boots, his pants fit to hug his legs and Alex knows if Michael turns around to hug his ass perfectly. The large silver belt buckle low on his hips drawing Alex’s eyes, as usual, making him lick his lips absently as his mouth dries.

Angry might not be his type, but he must admit as he takes in Michael’s usual cocky swagger, embarrassing as it is, that the cowboy part of Kyle’s descriptor is entirely, 100% his type. And it seems that in days since they have seen each other, Michael has regained his equilibrium because he’s playing up the cowboy swagger to a ‘T.’

If Alex didn’t know better, if he were anyone else, he’d buy what Michael was selling right now. Still, everything has been so raw between them the last couple of days, and there is still so much more looming over them that he’s willing to play along for the time being.

“You need some need line, Guerin,” he says with a raised eyebrow.  “You’re starting to repeating yourself.”

Michael smirks back at him before bringing the beer in his hand to his lips. “That line worked out well enough the last time.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but more out of custom than any real annoyance. He looks around the place again and then looks back at the man before him, he realizes with startling clarity that they are standing pretty much the same way they were the last time they were in this room together, and he has to give Michael credit. Nostalgia indeed is a bitch and has laid on a hell of a sucker punch on him. From the way Michael is looking at him, the way he’s breathing a little heavier he isn’t the only one reliving the past.

He clears his throat and waves his hand at the room. “Isobel didn’t change this like she did rest,” he comments, his eyes widening when Michael’s reaction is instant. There is a red flush creeping up his neck to his cheeks, and it’s so reminiscent of 17-year-old Michael that Alex aches.

 “Guerin?” he questions, keeping his tone soft when the other man looks away, shifting from one booted foot to the other.

Michael licks his lips, his line of sight somewhere off Alex’s left shoulder. “I asked her to keep this part of the museum alone, she didn’t want to because it’s tacky, but I insisted,” he finishes, now looking straight at Alex with those eyes of his that always pulled Alex in, that look on his face that always makes Alex feel both special and exposed to the world.

“Why?” he asks, his word above a whisper, his heart thundering under his ribcage and his hands itch to reach out when Michael takes a step towards him, looking at him from under his eyelashes.

“You know why,” Michael answer, his voice just as low, raw.

_“Tell me,”_ Alex pushes, his voice desperate even to his own ears because he needs to know. After everything, they’ve been through. After finding out the truth about Michael, finding out about Maria, finding out that Michael wants to _leave_ , he _needs_ to know.

Michael stares at him for a moment, taking his hat off.

Proving yet again that he is the braver of the two, he speaks. “Because I love you, Alex,” he starts, and Alex can see how the words release the tightness that is always on Michael’s shoulders. “Present tense, not past, and this place,” he says gesturing to the room. “This is where I first realized it, I couldn’t lose that too, not if I’m going to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” Alex rushes to say, he can already see the walls building between them even after that declaration, and he’s had enough, enough of walking away, of misunderstanding, of not having the only thing he has ever truly want.

Michael gives him a skeptical look, and it hurts even though Alex knows he’s earned it with the way he’s treated Michael in the past.

“You walked away again,” Michael reminds him softly. “I mean I get it, not every day you find out your ex isn’t from this world,” he continues with a sad smile.

Alex shakes his head. “That’s not why I left, Michael,” he answers, pausing when Michael’s eyes widen. “What?”

Micheal swallows hard, licking his lips. “That might be the first time you’ve ever called me by my first name.”

Alex stops short at the comment, feeling like an idiot and horrible when he realizes that Michael is right.

“I’m an asshole,” he mutters lowly, ever since his father took a hammer to the hand of the man before him, all he’s ever wanted to do is keep him from harm, now he wonders just how many times he has hurt Michael himself. He sees Michael shake his head and Alex lets out a small smile he doesn’t actually feel. “I am,” he continues as he takes a step forward. “And I’ve been a coward, and it’s only now that I am beginning to realize how much I have hurt you. It’s no wonder that between the life this planet has given you and me, that you want to leave, I don’t blame you.”

“Alex,” Michael says helplessly, even now trying to reassure him, to fix it for Alex.

“I didn’t leave because of everything you told me,” he pushes on. “I meant it when I said I want to know you, all of you. I left because when you showed me the console,” he pauses, looking down at his feet. His eyes stinging as he feels the same profound loss he felt in Michael’s bunker, realizing that there was a real chance that one day soon he was going to have to watch Michael leave him behind, the same way Alex has done so many times.

Only this time it will be for keeps, it will be the end, something that even though there has been a 10-year history of starts and ends between them, he’s never thought that there could ever be a true end to them.

“You showed me the console, and I realized I would lose you for good,” Alex says looking back up, for once hiding noting as a tear rolls from the corner of his eye. “And I’m not ready for that Michael, because I love you too, present tense, not past,” he finishes, his voice gone a whisper with his confession.

Michael stares at him, his own eyes shining with unshed tears and then he moves. Alex meets him halfway, and the moment their lips touch, it like someone has cut his strings, he goes slack and clings to Michael to keep himself upright. He opens his mouth under Michael’s, and the kiss tastes salty from both their tears.

It isn’t a gentle kiss.

It’s days, weeks, months, years of pent up tension, of unsaid words, of love that has been tucked away in the deepest parts of them for safe, keeping finally being set free. No, the kiss is desperate, hands holding on tight as neither lets up, both afraid of _this_ slipping through their fingers yet again. It’s only after oxygen becomes an issue that they break the kiss but not the hold they have on each other.

“I love you,” Michael repeats once again, and there is a rare honest smile on his face.

“I love you,” Alex answers back, pressing his forehead against Michael before continuing, hoping against hope that his next words don’t cost him what he only just got back. “Which is why I have to tell you that I have one of the missing pieces to your ship.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking prompts for these two over on my [tumblr](http://bellakitse.tumblr.com/) so if you guys like this and think of anything you would like me to write let me know. Fluff is more my wheelhouse so I'm always up for that.


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